Yesterday I had a LavAzza in the morning and I'm now remembering that I had half of one with dinner. I was up until 2 and watched 2 episodes of "Daredevil." I'd taken a 2-hour nap earlier in the day and was a little disappointed when I awoke from it.
Today I had LavAzza in the morning and had a coffee at my parents' around noon. I was able to hit the gym hard afterward and wore myself out. The one regret was not running hard outside. I did get a lot of sun with Miri at the park this morning and we had a lot of fun.
Mother's Day just breezes by. We've spent the last three at the Lynbrook Chinese restaurant. I get melancholy when one of my girls goes to work and then I put the other to sleep. I confront more solitude and the dissatisfaction of returning to a job I despise. It's not the job so much as it is my manager, and the idea that I'm not getting the results I feel I've earned from the job search. The ideal job is out there and I am tempted to just show up and apply.
I'm watching the penultimate "Mad Men" episode and it's ok. Sometimes there are nuggets of wisdom there and other times it's just something that is on. I hate to admit it but I was hoping it'd give me some direction today but I get the feeling the Joan story in the previous episode is the one I can identify with most -- "your previous status doesn't carry much water."
I wish I didn't take the work stuff so personally but it's where I spend all my time. It's a vicious cycle. I have to work it out some other way.
Thank you for reading.
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